


And Everything Will Heal In The Light

by aNGELICmURDER



Series: It's August Though [13]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-15
Updated: 2016-08-15
Packaged: 2018-08-08 21:55:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7775119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aNGELICmURDER/pseuds/aNGELICmURDER
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lapis is racking her brain to bits trying to figure out what fusion means to her now that standard fusion makes her skin crawl.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And Everything Will Heal In The Light

**Author's Note:**

> Second attempt at a Lapis and Peridot Fusion Second Chickening out.

Peridot was a little too earnest about fusing; her face too expressive and happy and eager. Honestly, it made Lapis feel like she was kicking a puppy every time she told her no. Though she couldn’t tell how the little green gem took it. She’d look furlong at first, running out of the barn, screaming, sometimes she’d toss things and yell and Lapis would feel a little bad but not terrible enough to rush into a fusion just to make her feel better.

It was just too soon. Every night, whenever she sat on the roof top she could still feel the water rushing over her skin and the ocean depth pressing down, even the chains around her wrists that cut in and bit without any mercy. Sometimes even the smell of salt was enough to put her on edge. She curled up and put her head down. She didn’t want to go through that again or visit that kind of malice onto Peridot. 

Did Peridot even know what she was asking for? How close you can get to another gem? How much you can learn and know in such a short time? How much you could destroy someone? Even someone as strong as…

Lapis swallowed and exhaled. She tried to put it out of her mind. Inhale. Slowly unclenching her jaw. Exhale. Easing the stress from her shoulders. She pulled her legs up and called her wings out. Fusion was wrecking her nerves. Peridot was wrecking her nerves, asking repeatedly for this.

Her stomach knotted and she began sweating. “Peridot!”

Lapis extended her wings and flew into the barn. Inside, Peridot lay on her side of the room, the TV was playing Camp Pining Hearts but Lapis had no interest. She shut off the TV and sat down in front of Peridot, close enough that their breaths mingled and Peridot had to ease back to put space between them. “Why?”

“Umm Excuse me?” Peridot was a little creepied out now. Lapis’ eyes were wide and looked like they were searching her for answers. She felt a little uncomfortable under the soulless gaze. 

“Why do you want to fuse?” Lapis, shuffled forward, seemingly unaware of Peridot’s growing unease. “Why do you want to fuse with me?”

Peridot hummed, putting a hand to her chin and trying to think it through. “We’re a lot the same. We’re far from home, an enemy of Homeworld and let’s face it, we aren’t real Crystal Gems.”

“That’s it?”

“Garnet does fine and she’d made up of weaker gems.” Peridot didn’t know what to say. “I think we’d be cooler.”

Suddenly Lapis felt very tired, as if the entire day ran her over all at once. She stood up and shuffled off to the other side of the room. Peridot screamed from behind her, “does this mean you’ll fuse with me?”

“I’ll think about.” She had a few questions she needed to ask first.

 

Garnet actively avoided her future vision for mundane and trivial things during her day, preferring to be as surprised as possible about the outcome of her decisions and the decisions others chose to make involving herself. Even this one, a nervous Lapis, shrinking under whatever invisible worry she had, sitting outside the temple warp pad waiting for her was not unwelcomed. She greeted her warmly, waiting for Lapis to open up, prompting her with platitudes.

Finally Lapis asked the question on her mind, “Why are you always fused?”

“Because Ruby and Sapphire never want to be apart.” Garnet answered. 

Lapis squinted at her. Who would want to be permanently fused? Weren’t they ever afraid they could-? Or the other could-? She just…“I don’t get it.”

Garnet smiled, “It’s just how they are. Being permanently fused isn’t for everyone and you’d have to force yourself to fuse if you’re not ready.”

“I’m not forcing myself to do anything.” Lapis backed away, fists bawled and itching to just fly away but she was supposed to be doing this for answers. 

“No one said you were.” Garnet replied. “But it’s ok to know the option is there. When the time comes, you’ll be ready.”

Lapis laughed. “No it’s not for me, I was just curios.”

The two parted ways, Garnet hadn’t supplied anything that answered any of Lapis’ questions; at least not the ones she wanted answered. Maybe she should seek other help. 

 

The only real gems on this planet were the Crystal Gems and then you had Peridot and Steven of course. Not that he wasn’t a Crystal Gem too but he was more squishy than other gems, more human. Also could he even fuse? She’d never seen or heard about it but if he had a gem he should be able to? But it’d feel weird asking Steven about that stuff.

She flew off to sit on the nearest building she could find. One close enough to see the sea but far enough away that she wouldn’t have to interact with it. She needed to think, se about telling Peridot to hold off on the fusion thing-

“Hey! What are you doing up there?” Lapis looked down to see something red with a long cape flowing behind it. It waved at her and on closer inspection she noticed it was human. “Get down before you hurt yourself!”

She flew down to meet him, putting away her wings as she took him in a bit closer. “Oh, you’re Steven’s dad.”

“That’s me.” He grinned back unphased by her lack of care. “You’re Lapis right? What are you doing on my car wash?”

“I didn’t realise it was yours.” Lapis answered, not sure of what to say. “You bought this?”

Greg laughed and waved her off. “No, no. I was working her for awhile when the original owner retired and left me the entire thing. Pretty neat huh?”

Lapis chuckled. She rubbed her arm, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot. “Yea. Neat.”

Greg looked at the floor, looking up at Lapis and smiling. “So do you want something to drink?”

“No thanks I don’t drink.”

“Umm ok… What about Chaaps.” Greg walked around the back of his wash, almost expecting Lapis to follow him. “You coming or what? I know Steven left a bag of those things lying around somewhere.”

Of course. Lapis couldn’t believe how stupid she was. Steven’s dad. He would know stuff about fusing! He was Rose’s Consort for awhile. And now Rose was Steven. They had to have fused in some way for that to happen right?

“Sure.” Lapis followed up around back, taking the bag of chaps he tossed her way and held it. She wasn’t interested in eating but she did have a few questions. She watched as Greg sat on the back of the van, pulling out a pip that sat bubbles and smiled at her. “Did you and Rose fuse?”

Greg almost choked, spiting his pipe out and pounding on his chest. “What!? No Me and Rose? God no. I’m not gem. We couldn’t –Why are you asking? Can’t you ask the gems in the temple I’m pretty sure they’d no more than I would.”

“No. I tried asking them.”

Greg sighed. “Ok. I didn’t fuse with Rose but we dated and then Steven happened.”

“What’s dating?” Lapis sat cross legged on the ground.

“Well it’s when a man and a woman or anyone really,” Greg rubbed the back of his neck. He didn’t expect to be giving this talk so soon and to someone who wasn’t even his son. “They go out. They eat dinner together and maybe go dancing and they just talk about things they like. Like football or pizza or chasing monsters.”

“Oh. Is that like fusing.”

“No idea. I guess it’s like human fusing. Or as close as we’d get to it at any rate.”

A light lit up in Lapis’ mind. Something she could possibly do that would satisfy both her and Peridot. “That makes sense. Thank you. That helped a lot. See ya Steven’s dad.”

“Ok. Bye Lapis.” As she flew off Greg let out a breath. “I am getting too old for this.”

 

“I thought you said we were gonna fuse.” Peridot looked at the set up with disdain. She trusted Lapis but sometimes the other gem was too secretive for her taste. Like this whole thing with the lights in the barn. Lapis had put decorative light all around the mouth of the barn door and in the center was a small table with a white sheet over the top and a silver dome.

Lapis just laughed and adjusted her tie. She couldn’t remember the last time she was this excited about something. Peridot was looking at her strange but this could work right? A human fusion would be just as good as a gem one. “This is how humans do it.”

“I don’t see how this would make us stronger.” Peridot sat down at the table, picking up the fork and looking at it with distrust. “What does a fork have to do with fusing?”

“It’s for eating.” Lapis said, pulling the dome off the top. Underneath was a plate filled with creamy cheesy pasta topped with basil and dotted with bacon. “This is bacon carbora. I learned that humans need to eat and talk about stuff they like before they can fuse.”

“Where are you getting this information from?” Peridot stuck her fork into the pile, swirling some around before looking at it. The steam was still rising from it and it didn’t look like it was poison. 

“Steven’s dad.” Lapis held onto the lid and waited for Peridot to take a bite. “He said humans eat dinna and talk about Pizza and stuff before they fuse.”

“Pizza? Why would we talk about pizza?” Peridot looked at Lapis who just shrugged before she began eyeing the fork again. She put it in her mouth and chewed thoughtfully. “It’s not bad.”

“I made it. With Steven.”

“Oh.” Peridot ate more of it. She wasn’t really a fan of eating but if Lapis wanted it. “So you and Steven made this?”

“Yea.”

“And he knows we’re going to fuse?”

Lapis laughed. “Yea.”

Peridot dropped her fork. “Why would you tell him that?!”

“I don’t know!” Lapis dropped the cover and put her hands to her face, feeling more frustrated and angry than she thought was possible. “I’m not human. I don’t know anything about human fusing and I don’t know any other humans.”

Peridot flushed. She didn’t mean to upset Lapis, it just sorta happened. It was strange and confusing, this human method of fusing and how it worked. It wasn’t like what she knew fusion was or how it usually worked. How did humans use this? “This isn’t real fusion.”

“Did you ever think I didn’t want real fusion?” Lapis screamed. “Peridot. I like you ok? You’re the only one on the planet who can even understand how I feel about being here but I don’t want to fuse. I can’t think about it without feeling the ocean press down on me and I just feel like dissipating at the thought.”

“Lapis…”

“I just wanted to feel something familiar for once but I can’t do it and I thought this might help but it doesn’t. And I’m so scared that I’d never feel normal again and I just can’t Peridot. I can’t.”

 

Lapis started crying at the table. Peridot walked up to her awkwardly, reaching up to pat her shoulder. “Lapis.”

The ocean gem kept crying, wiping her eyes and face but her wails didn’t die down. “Lapis I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I know.” She sniffed. “It’s not your fault it’s me. I might be broken.”

“No! Don’t you dare say that!” Peridot pulled Lapis’ face down to look at her. “Lapis, you may be weird and moody but you’re not broken, you’re not cracked. You’re the best thing about this planet. You’re even better than finding out I have metal powers. I like you too and us Kindergardners don’t like cracked gems.”

Lapis looked into Peridot’s eyes, confused, eyes hurting as she wiped away a few stray tears. She began laughing. All of this stress, all of it worrying about Peridot’s reaction when in the end just talking to her solved everything. She put her hand over Peridot’s and smiled.

She closed her eyes, letting the anxiety that plagued her for weeks fade away in the bright glowing light.


End file.
